"One Thousand Dollars"

Deserving of sleep, awake because of one long nights dream about a thousand dollars. Not sure I want to even write that term down considering it has been in my uncontrollable dreams ALL NIGHT over and over. This is deeper than money. This reminds me of a small mob family story. It started out last evening when I rec'd a call from a man who "The Boss" set up to call me, if he wanted to live a sane life for another week at least. My Dad! The character of "The Boss" being played by none other than the mother figure. The man starts out giggly sweet and moves into shrewd. A mask I should know well, but considering I dont live in such a manner of ways, I forget. Why how dumb is that? I know it's not. He proceeds to make the statement that a certain member to the family is ready to move forward with certain legal arrangements and has wondered where the girls Dani, Balesse, and Louise) are in this matter. You see, he says they offered to contribute. (They did out of heart and No they didnt in reality, "The Boss" is trying to take over and get money from young girls, two of whom don't have jobs and are 21. One is only 18 and just out on her own with the need of car repairs) There are no words to say how flabbergasted I was hearing his pre-scripted words of borrowed arrogance and narcissism. I raised my voice and hardened it as well. I told him I knew "she" had put him up to this again. Those young girls have no money and the family member in need would never ask them for it as he well knows their situation. The prisoner in need of the money has more class than the farmers begging the youth for it. Then came the biggy. He asked where my thousand dollar donation went? Sometimes I understand why people shoot other people. Because they make you crazy is why. Of course I wouldn't shoot anyone but a good trip up would feel mighty good sometimes. It is said no one can upset anyone unless you LET THEM. Shut up! I used every big and little I had within and out to deal. Then went to bed.


I dreamed: I had a one thousand dollar gift card sitting on the dresser. I had taken it out of the bank to keep it safe so no one would get it. Yet: One of my clients saw it sitting on the dresser and made a comment in front of a few people at my house. Which let my safe $ secret out. He seemed harmless??? THEN.. David (Ogden, x-hubbs from the 80's) was there in a state of poverty and in great need of it! The $ card. He picked up the card and said, "We need to cash this in." I said, "No way, go get a job, I clean toilets for that money and I am not cashing it in." He was devastated and pale. Then I was cleaning out boxes in my (our) storage unit...I was throwing everything ...he was trying to keep little pieces of material and decorations. I said, "No, when I am finished there will only be a couple bins of necessary items." Then someone else came and wanted "it," the gift card......Then someone else. Separate dreams all night off and on tossing and turning until I finally said, THAT'S IT...and got up at 5:30.

Even sitting here typing this to you I see those words like a cattle brand in the air. A Thousand dollars!!

I am angry Tea. mother made him call and try to extricate money from three young girls, me, and so on. She uses all sort of manipulation in the background. This is exactly why he used to beat me with a belt...she would get him so angry and push him..... (Ben told them to leave me alone regarding the money, that he would figure it out.) Tommye I can sell his prints but they cost allot to get reprinted and framed.

p.s. Louise is a mess. Texting me, wont get out of bed. She says she has nothing. I told her she had somethings, "School for her future, and a vehicle." I told her she got herself in this situation and needs to get up and do something, one thing at a time to feel better. Like clean her room number one. etc.

Coyd called her so angry the other day. She told me he has NEVER spoke to her that way. She was rude to his roommate Tea. Ordered the guy around and missed her plane etc. I just shut my phone off at night or she will keep me awake like the other boss tries to. All she talks about is California... I told her she needs a plan first.

I do need a week off with no phones. Samra wants her to move in with him and from what I can see she doesn't have a choice anymore. No money, no car, nothing. He says he will teach her the business, she will have a Mercedes to drive, teach her how to invest money...have a pay check....BUT...he loves her! Oh and wants to have a baby with her!!! I HOPE NOT! And he told his Mother and Father who live downstairs in separate quarters of a huge home. Jeez!! No the H wonder I cant sleep well sometimes.They are Muslims...I think they are nice Muslims, LOL.. I have left out a whole bunch but considering you have been down this road for the past thirty years with me, I figure you got it the first paragraph.

I think I will polish my nails today! That'll make me feel good. New jobs this morning and tomorrow morning!!